South Park Oneshots
by AkiraNora
Summary: Just a compilation of various one shots I'm making up, send help and prompts.
1. Band-Aids

**A/N**

 **Hahah hey so this is my first fic here, hope ypu like it**

 **Enjoy ~!**

The electronic clock rung softly, nearly silent beeps echoed the room as the screen flashed "12:00" repeatedly. The silence was absolutely numbing as Craig remained sprawled on his bed. The beeps sputtered to a stop, the boy still staring blankly at the ceiling. It was absolutely fucking boring.

Normally, one wouldn't be so bored in the middle of the night. Normally, one would be asleep, just like everyone else in town, save for the little blonde that was twitching and spazzing in another house.

Craig paused.

Then again, he'd probably be asleep as well if it hadn't been for the blonde that wouldn't leave his mind. He wanted to pinch himself every time he thought of the twitchy kid. His eyebrows furrowed as he remembered what the Asian girls said.

I'm not gay.

He sat up and cursed softly. That damn rumor can suck it. There's nothing wrong with being gay, being PC is great, Caitlyn Jenner is a hero, and all that crap but why couldn't people understand that he just didn't like guys that way.

He grabbed a pillow and pushed it against his face, screaming from the top of his lungs in frustration.

Tweek squeaked and twitched as he sat alone by the stairs of the school's back entrance, sipping on his canister of coffee. His shaky hands could barely hold the jug steady as he fought back the urge to scratch at his face.

Before he could swallow the now cold liquid, he felt a hamd rest on his shoulder, alerting the boy of a new presence. He gasped and choked on his coffee, spitting most of it out as he wheezed and coughed like no tomorrow.

"JESUS! COULDN'T YOU-" he wheezed and coughed again. "Have- GAH waited for me to finish my drink!? I could've choked- fuck!" He took his time to catch his breath, not even bothering to glance at who his almost-murderer was.

"Jeez, I just touched your shoulder, y'don't have to be such a wimp about it," a nasally voice replied, monotone and bored.

Tweek paused and slowly stared up at the boy. His eye twitched in slight anger and annoyance. "Fucking- didn't I tell you to leave me- GAH alone!?" It was hard enough that everyone believed that they were gay for each other, now Craig wouldn't leave him alone. "Don't we hate each other- JESUS this isn't helping the situation about the rumor."

Craig's brows furrowed, Tweek couldn't quite read why though. "Listen, I have a plan-" he cut him off without a single thought.

"Hell no, I don't trust you or your plans, dude!" Tweek spazzed before getting up from his spot, staring down the other boy. Cerulean blue orbs bore against blazing emerald ones as the two had a stare off.

After a solid two minutes, Craig was the first to pull away, a scowl embedded on his face. He cussed loudly at the boy, showing his middle finger before leaving. Tweek blinked in confusion. Did... did Craig really call quits first? Usually they'd be throwing fists before either of the two would back down.

He shrugged and took a sip at his coffee again, ignoring the boy's strange behavior. Better to just leave it be than make things worse.

Craig paced by the swing set, his group of friends sitting on each swing as they watched the guy. They were all definitely concerned with the situation, but he was sure no one really had a good idea. Jimmy spoke up first.

"W-why don't you just l-l-l-lea-lea-leav- avoid the situation all t-together? The Asian girls will just leave it alone if they see you two have no i-i-interaction at all," he suggested.

"Maybe... But that won't stop them from drawing all that crap," Craig replied tiredly.

"What happened to your first plan? I thought you said it was 'fool proof'," Clyde chipped in, making air quotes with his fingers.

"Honestly... Tweek's an asshole but I'm pretty sure he's right, my plan does suck, even if he didn't hear it yet," Craig mumbled the last part to himself

"And that plan was...?"

"Start another fight but this time, its a fight to the death."

The whole group fell silent. Craig wasn't the smartest kid in class, but he wasn't the dumbest either. Who the fuck gave him the idea that another fight would be a good idea? Answer: it was Stan and the gang.

Clyde cleared his throat and decided to disregard what was just said. "Why don't you just accept it dude? You were definitely the gayest during that whole metrosexual crap-" he was cut off by Craig pulling on his collar.

"IM NOT FUCKING GAY!! Why don't you get labeled as the gay one!? No chick would go for you anyway, you mayo loving-" Token was the one to stop and pull Craig away from the boy, easily calming him down. Clyde on the other hand, had tears brimming his eyes. He was ready to start bawling before Craig bro-hugged him, apologizing softly to the crybaby.

Token sighed and sat back down on the swing. "Dude, have you even asked Tweek what he thought of the situation?"

Craig froze, remembering the blonde. Even just the thought of the boy sent shivers down his spine. It wasn't even out of disgust or fear, it was entirely new feeling he would rather not explore. He shook his head and looked away from the group.

"He... He wanted us to just avoid each other and that we should just hate one another. But I don't think that's-"

"I t-think you're just m-m-ma-making up excu-excuses, now. Tweek's idea is perfect, just go with it," Jimmy cut him off, figuring out the boy almost instantly. He glanced at Token for support. The kid just sighed and shook his head.

"Fine, Craig. None of us have exactly experienced this uh 'situation'. Its your call and whatever you choose we'll support you," Token said calmly.

Craig nodded, he wasn't so sure what to do yet but he had a vague idea.

Tweek walked slowly on the way home, not that ecstatic to return to his quiet empty house and scream at himself and the knomes. No, he'd rather hide somewhere safe, free from the knomes, his parents, the weird coffee, and all the stresses at school.

He stopped in his tracks as he remembered the dark haired boy who was the center of all his stress. It wasn't the rumors that bothered him, it was the way his muscles would relax and tense at the same time. It sounded weird but he just couldn't explain it, Craig had this influence with him.

He wanted to pull out his hair in frustration. But he couldn't, so he went to the next best thing. He reached for that seemingly permanent itch on his arm and began scratching.

He couldn't tell when this started or why he itched so much, but he was sure it wasn't normal. He first noticed this after his parents made him taste test all those new coffee mixes. He began scratching harder as he began to walk once again to his house.

Before he realized it, his left hand started inching towards his stinging cheeks. His free hand grabbed for it before he could scratch himself, then letting both fall to his sides. If there was one place he'd try extremely hard to avoid, it was his face.

From afar, Tweek looked like a normal, twitchy kid who seemed to be quite jumpy. If you actually examined him closer, you'd notice his face was littered with red marks and scars. The deepest ones only centimeters away from his bright blue eyes.

The worst itches he's had were on his face. They were unbearable, and extremely painful to scratch at, especially with the scratches and cuts from old itches. His face stung to no end and just thinking of them made him itch more.

He was about to reach for his face again but a hand caught his before he could. He was used to catching himself before he could scratch his face. He tried to shove his hands into his pocket just to keep himself from scratching. At least, he would have slipped his hand in if it weren't for the fact that his arm wasn't held by his own hand but clasped by...

Tweek followed the blue sleeved arm, up to the shoulder, past the blue ear flaps of a hat, and stared straight into clear green eyes. Wait... Isn't that- "GAH- CRAIG!?!"

Tweek yelped and jumped in surprise, better late than never I guess. He wrenched his arm from Craig's surprisingly soft grip and stepped back suspiciously.

Was he gonna pick a fight again? Was he gonna kill him!? Oh God- he didn't want to die yet. He slowly stepped further away ready to book it if Craig so much as tried to take a step closer.

Craig seemed to understand and stood still, making sure he didn't startle the boy any further. He slowly raised his hands up as a show of surrender. "I don't wanna fight, just hear me out."

Tweek was hesitant to accept, now lacking the ability to even utter a word. He reluctantly nodded, clenching his jaw in a tense manner. He was curious, to say the least, about what Craig could have to possibly say to him.

Craig's face visibly lit up in hope and happiness but before he could even let out a sound, Tweek saw the most horrifying thing. The girls were all leaving the school together, minding their own business. Oh god- if they saw him and Craig together, who knows what they're going to think.

Without a second thought, he grabbed Craig's hand and began running. He prayed to that odd monkey looking God that the girls wouldn't notice them as he booked it straight for his house.

Minutes pass and they finally reached Tweek's house. Tweek was panting with exhaustion but never missed a beat as he unlocked his door and pushed Craig in with surprising strength. He followed in shortly after, prepping himself for the conversation he was about to have.

Craig sat quietly on the Tweak's couch as his kidnapper worked on something in the kitchen. He scanned the light brown(A/n I'm not sure about the color please correct me) walls, his gaze lingering on the lone picture of a blonde boy. He couldn't help but observe the little creases of his green shirt, his messy blonde hair, and the little red flecks surrounding his eyes.

His eyes furrowed in concern for what the flecks could be. He knew the boy didn't have any freckles and pimples didn't look like that. He stood up and slowly approached the painting to observe it even further. Before he could get a better look at it, the very person he was staring at emerged from the kitchen, two mugs in hand.

Tweek tilted his head in confusion at Craig. "Uhhh... What're you doing?" he asked calmly, quite uncharacteristically actually. "Never mind, just sit down," he shook his head dismissively, putting one of the mugs down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He took a sip of his own mug, sighing happily as he awaited Craig to take his seat.

Taking one last glance at the picture frame, Craig slowly stepped towards the couch and sat down. He eyed the mug suspiciously, hesitant to take it. Once he did pick it up, he inched it towards his lips, doing his best to discreetly sniff the concoction.

"I didn't poison it, jeez Craig. I hate you, but not that much," Tweek chucked softly, not even lifting his gaze from his coffee. Kids their age weren't really interested in the bitterness of coffee but Tweek seemed to enjoy it a lot. He shut his eyes tightly and took a big sip, preparing for the bitterness to surround his mouth.

The bitterness definitely hit him but he was surprised to find that it wasn't the only flavor. Milky, sweet flavors filled his senses, the scent of the coffee itself engulfed in his lungs. It was definitely a new taste. His parents let him sip from their cups before but it never tasted this good, heck theirs tasted horrible. He took another gulp before sighing happily.

"Even if it was poisoned, I'd still drink it to the very last drop," an awkward pause. "I didn't think coffee could be this good, especially since everyone says your coffee tastes like shi-" Craig cut himself off before finishing the thought. What kind if psycho would tell someone that their brand coffee tastes like dirt, especially in their own house. "...sorry."

"It fine, you're not wrong," Tweek replied nonchalantly, it was really bothering Craig how calm and composed Tweek was. "There's... something wrong with my parents' blend that makes it so weird, every so often my parents even make me taste test their blends and it just really doesn't set well. I honestly prefer a classic black coffee," he takes another sip. "But since I'm pretty sure you're not into that stuff, I added some sweeteners. Let's say, its my own classic blend," he smiled warmly and finally looked at Craig.

Craig couldn't help but smile back at him. He drank from his mug quietly, a comfortable silence surrounding them. He decided to cut it short. "I don't hate you, by the way," he whispered, avoiding eye contact. "If only those girls would just leave us alone, we could hang out without feeling gay," Craig furrowed his eyebrows.

"You want to hang out with me?"

Craig realized what he said and bit his tongue. Fuck. He slowly looked at Tweek, seeing the touched and possibly hopeful look in his eyes. "Y-yeah, you weren't really a problem until those assholes (Stan and friends) got us to fight."

Tweek stared at Craig longer before he jumped on the poor boy and embraced him in a hug. The two paused for a second, realizing what the blonde had done. He slowly moved away, sitting next to Craig in embarrassment. "...hehe, uh, sorry about that, didn't think I'd get that excited," the shorter boy scratched his cheeks lightly.

Craig nodded and chuckled awkwardly, and that's how their friendship properly began.

And so the boys hung out more, spending nights at each other's house as discreetly as they could. Craig's friends noticed of course, but they trusted the boy not to kill Tweek while he slept... Right?

Tweek shook his head as he sat quietly in his room, sipping a mug of his personal blend coffee. He didn't know why normal coffee had the opposite effect on him, but he just accepted it, enjoying the change from his parents' blend. He continued to build his leggo set on his bed, nearly finished, until a hand suddenly touched his shoulder.

Before he could catch himself, he squeaked louldy and tossed his mug against the wall. Shocked at what had just happened, he sat up and crawled towards the edge of his bed, forgetting the hand that insinuated this whole thing. Sighing in relief, he noted how the mug was cushioned by the carpet, safe from breaking and possibly injuring him. Glancing up though, he saw the dark stain starting to sink into the wood.

It disheartened him that this happened. He shut his eyes tightly, starting to hit his forehead lightly as a little penance for his actions. He sighed and fell back into his head, sinking into the comforter. He raised his eyeslids and blazing emeralds stared back at him. Oh right... That's why I got startled...

A couple minutes of staring passed before he realized that he wasn't alone. Instinctively, he tried to sit up, bumping heads with the owners of the eyes.

"Ouch- fuck Tweek, its just me," a familiar voice groaned out. Immediately recognizing the voice, Tweek turned to its origins. He stared at the raven haired boy as he rubbed his head, he could feel the bump on his head growing as well.

"Holy- fuck sorry, Craig. But you shouldn't have snuck up on me like that you idiot! JESUS-," Tweek clasped his hand on his mouth. Did he just... Spaz? Even without drinking any of his parents' blends? He bit his lip, worried that he was just becoming naturally like that. He'd sputter and stutter recently and it was getting on his nerves. Actually, this started ever since he and Craig started hanging out more...

He glanced at the boy and only noticed now, the soft glisten of water against skin. Was he...? "Are you crying? Uh- you okay dude? I mean, I know we hit each other hard but I didn't think it would hurt that mu-"

"I'm not crying!!" Craig yelled angrily. He rubbed his forehead again, "I just got wet since its you know raining," he said dryly as if it wasn't anymore obvious.

Tweek turned to see the rain pitter patter against his window, the image calming him down a bit. Too focused on the image, he failed to notice the other boy shift and rummage through his bag. And before he knew it, there was something sticking to his forehead. "...what's this for?" he asked as he picked on the band-aid.

"Ouh I just thought it'd make you feel better, you know, like making it heal faster." Craig said dumbly.

Tweek giggled lightly. "You know we don't put Band-Aids on unless its an open wound right?"

"Oh."

Tweek laughed again at the dumb look Craig was giving him. He shook his head and grabbed a Band-Aid from his drawer, rocket ship designed, and stuck it to Craig's forehead.

Before he could get a mirror to show Craig, another bandaid was stuck to his face, this time smaller and near his eyes. He stared at Craig, the boy focused on peeling another Band-Aid, he noticed was star shaped, and sticking it to Tweek's face.

He didn't think Craig had noticed those cuts but he actually did, and he cared enough to get him band-aids. He was expecting a more confrontational, angry, 'why didn't you tell me?!' kind of reaction, but no. He guessed Craig cared enough not to pressure him into telling.

He was touched that the boy had this much patience and kindness. He smiled softly and pinched his cheeks, gaining a groan from the taller one. "Hey Craig...?"

"Hmm?" Craig hummed lazily as he rubbed his pinched cheek.

"I want to tell you something."

A/N

Heyyyy its done thank God. Well here's my story, hope ya enjoyed. I'm making another fic rn , it'll update eventually lol

Once again, hope you liked it~


	2. Nightly Rituals

Heeyyyyy look another one.

I should rate this mature due to themes.

Characters are aged up so what they're doing is legal

And even the minor characters mentioned/described in this fic are all from the show. So if you can guess who they are you get a shout out ;D

Sweat, neon lights, and music blasting in full volume. Those were the three things that stuck out the most to the accountant as he slouched in his booth. He was already accustomed to the scent of cigarette smoke even before entering the vicinity. Finally lighting the cigarette that hung from his lips, he began to scan the other boring things in the room.

He watched as the other patrons stared and jeered from where they stood or sat, reminding him of his heterochromic business partner with their insistent wails and words. He watched the bartender mix drinks with skill, he was the fourth interesting thing in here.

His eyes roved around some more until he locked eyes with one of the workers. Brown curls bounced as she moved her body to the music as she kept staring into his brown eyes. She was pretty, even with the sweat dripping down her exposed skin, even as she slipped on her heels and ungracefully clutched onto the smooth pole for support, just to lose her grip and crash into the platform. She was pretty, but her large amount of makeup ruined it.

He glanced at the other dancers, some on a platform, some on poles, others near or on the lap of a patron. No one seemed interesting enough to approach, everyone had too much make up. The embers of his cigarette broke of from the stick as someone approached him.

"Care for a drink?" the stranger said as they placed a cold bottle of what he assumed was beer. He raised his head to look at who spoke to him. "Its on the house, as well as some other things," they winked and chuckled.

He looked the stranger up and down, taking in their features. Tall, tanned, toned body. Short, unkempt, blonde hair. Bright, blazing, blue eyes. And a smirk that seemed to promise secrets that could easily be shared, covered in bright red lipstick. He looked down. Huh, and a decent package.

"Is that so, what's the catch?" he asked skeptically.

"Nothing, its an offer for all the new customers. I know everyone here, and you're definitely a sight for sore eyes," he said flirtatiously.

"And what makes you think I wouldn't rather a girl?" A small smile creeps on his lips. This was interesting.

"You could ask for anyone you want, sweetie. As long as they're available of course," he smiled a lazy bedroom smile. "And I'm sure no matter the gender, anyone who comes here expects a good dance or two."

He was intrigued. "Fine, I'll bite," he stood from his seat, grabbing the nearly forgotten bottle and taking a huge swig.

"Haha, you're definitely a fun one."

After placing the bottle back down on the table, the seemingly older male shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the blonde. "Lead the way."

"Sure! Welcome to the Licorice Rhino strip club. My name is Dennis and I'll be your escort today," Dennis began as he walked backwards towards one of the personal rooms, his eyes never leaving his client's.

"I'm Kyle," the ginger said casually as he followed his 'escort'. As Dennis turned to properly walk towards the room, he couldn't help but observe the further. First of all, he was only wearing skin tight boxer briefs as opposed to his own whit polo, slacks, and necktie. Second, he was much taller than Kyle, as in way taller. He himself was a pretty tall 5'7 feet but Dennis was a whopping 6 feet give or take.

His observations were cut short as Dennis opened the door to their room. "After you, kind sir," he said jokingly.

Kyle chuckled and entered. Pink neon lights, large satin bed in the center, alcohol on the side, a... pole? Okay, and... other accessories.

Dennis shut the door behind him, staring straight at Kyle. He stared back, not really registering what the other wanted. "...so, you wanna just-?"

Kyle's eyes widened in realization, "Oh, yeah. Uhm, I don't know, how about-"

Dennis laughed at his flustered customer. "There goes that 'calm and cool' persona of yours. Its your first time isn't it?"

"N-no its not... Its not my first time doing it and I've gone to places like this before... Its just-" he was cut off by surprisingly soft lips crashing into his. Involuntarily, his eyes shut close as he felt a tongue slip through his parted lips, smothered moans trapped in their connected mouths.

The kiss was slow, sensual, and... strange. He couldn't quite place it but he just wanted more. Without missing a beat, Dennis pulled away, almost hesitantly, evoking him to open his eyes. He felt embarrassed for thinking it but he wished he didn't stop.

Slowly, Dennis climbed on the bed, sitting on Kyle's lap. His hands roamed all over, the ginger unmoving as he did so. Before he could realize it, his shirt was off, then his pants, only registering everything once sweat started dripping down their backs and the music outside the room was drowned out by grunts and moans.

•~•~•~ Time skip cos this was never a lemon ~•~•~•

His throat was hoarse and he could barely feel his legs at this point. He turned to face the other boy, sleeping soundly next to him.

Resting his head on his palm, he observed the the blonde breathing softly. He leaned in close and pecked his forehead ever so lightly, taking in his scent as he pulled away.

Lavender.

There it was again, the scent that ghosted his memories of those restless nights, the growing amount of house calls, and the tranquil mornings he awoke next to him again. It bewildered him. For someone who did nothing but move and sweat, he still smelled of that wonderful lavender aroma. He wanted it all to himself-

Cerulean eyes stared back at him as his sleeping partner awoke from his silent slumber. Shit, he got caught staring again. He turned to the side, his cheek tinting with embarrassment.

Dennis laughed, pinching the red-head. He pecked Kyle's cheek before sitting up and stretching, turning to get out of the bed and collect his clothes. However he was stopped by the shorter male, engulfing him in a lazy embrace.

"Do you have to go so soon?" Kyle whispered, hoping his voice came out more husky than desperate.

Dennis chuckled, holding the others arm comfortingly, "How am I supposed to pay for Karen's needs if I stay here playing?" He asked jokingly.

Their nightly rituals may have been more of a sexual type, but it didn't mean they didn't talk after. Rather, a lot of their nights were sweeter, less carnal. They'd talk about nothing and everything, stress, secrets, special things they held in their hearts. Thinking about this Kyle couldn't help but loosen his grip as he thought of the young girl his friend was protecting. Such a bond between to family weren't often heard of these days.

He let go of the blonde in defeat. "Fine, you win, Dennis." He said with a playful pout, disappointment definitely real in his voice.

The blonde turned and smiled at him like he was a sad puppy. He caressed Kyle's and kissed his forehead. "The name's Kenny."

The older male's eyes widened in surprise. They told each other a lot of things but this was something he was sure Denn- Kenny would have never admitted. His chest filled with hope once more and he reached for the fleeting male's wrist. "Sta-y, please." His voice cracked in desperation.

"Kyle... I can't."

A/N

And done not alotta people read this but I'm a fan. **Also, completely forgot to update it here woops sorry.** Hope you enjoy **ed** doe.


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